Wednesday, December 30, 2009

011 Creative puns to tickle educated minds

aiyah, i know, not cool to like puns right . . . more smiles than groans here, so no apology :P
The only one i don't get is #3 (?lyrics from a song or something?), if you got it pls explain thanks :)

CREATIVE PUNS


1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other, 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

19. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

20. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

21. A backward poet writes inverse.

22. In democracy it's your vote that counts. In feudalism it's your count that votes.

23. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

24. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!


Posted via email from Fun and funny stuff

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

006 Free Webinar on how "New FTC regulations could affect YOU" and your marketing

Not sure if this is only for US, hope to find out.

---------- Forwarded message ----------
From: Debbie LaChusa <support@debbielachusa.com>
Date: 2009/12/3
Subject: [Stepping Up Alert] New FTC regulations could affect YOU

Do you use testimonials in your marketing?

If so, please keep reading.

On December 1, new Federal Trade Commission (FTC) regulations went
into effect that are changing the rules of business in a BIG way.

If you're currently using testimonials to market your business,
starting NOW you could face fines from the FTC and have your claims
branded "misleading" even if everything you're saying about your
products and services is true!

The key to staying in compliance with the FTC in 2010 (and keeping
all those great testimonials you worked so hard to achieve) is being
able to show "generally expected results."

On December 9th at 3pm Eastern (12noon Pacific), my friend Michele
DeKinder-Smith is hosting a complimentary webinar called:

"The FTC and YOU: 3 Easy Steps to Help You Market Within the Guidelines"

In this critically important, information-packed webinar, you'll learn:

=> Who will be affected by the new FTC regulations
  (yes, if you use testimonials or affiliates, your business
  could be on the list)

=> How to be proactive in meeting the new standards
  (you can take a deep breath knowing you are doing everything
   you can to be compliant)

=> How you can stay up-to-date on FTC regulations as they unfold,
  and show your customers (and the FTC) that you're taking the
  new rules seriously

=> How you can seize this moment to turn a potential CRISIS into
  an OPPORTUNITY to set yourself apart from the competition,
  demonstrate your integrity, and grow your business

Joining Michele on the webinar will be Kevin Houchin of
www.SiteCompliant.com, "The Creative Business Lawyer." Together,
they will lay it all out for you, in clear, straight-forward,
easy-to-understand language -- what you need to know RIGHT NOW
to keep your marketing within the legal bounds.

You can register and get more information now at
http://www.DemonstrateMyResults.com

But hurry! There's limited space on this call and I know the
interest in this subject is going to be HUGE.

To your enlightened success!

Debbie LaChusa


DLC Marketing, Inc.
PMB 310, 9625 Mission Gorge Road, Suite B2
Santee, California 92071, USA

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Posted via email from Alexis Aw, Word Alchemist